Okay, hear me out on this because it might sound a bit out there at first – but I think it could really change how you see some of your business struggles.

The relationship patterns you learned as a kid? They’re probably running the show in your business right now.

Your pricing fears, your marketing hesitations, that thing you keep tweaking instead of launching, how you react when clients give feedback, why boundaries feel impossible – all of these connect back to patterns that formed way before you ever dreamed of being an entrepreneur.

I promise I’m not about to psychoanalyze you! We’re not going to be diving into childhood trauma, either. I just want you to understand why some business decisions trigger such intense emotions, so you can finally break through the patterns that are holding you back. Understanding these connections could be the missing piece that finally helps you move past these blocks.

What Is Attachment Theory (And Why Should You Care)?

Attachment theory is basically about how we learned to connect with other people based on our early relationships. The super simplified version is that there are two main types: secure attachment (the goal) and insecure attachment (which comes in different flavors).

Securely attached people feel comfortable with relationships, can communicate their needs clearly, and don’t spiral when someone doesn’t text them back immediately. In business, they tend to make decisions from a grounded place and can handle rejection without taking it personally.

Insecure attachment comes in two main varieties:

Anxious folks (hi, that’s me!) crave connection but worry constantly about being rejected. They often over-communicate, people-please, and need lots of reassurance.

Avoidant people learned early that depending on others isn’t safe, so they’re very self-reliant but struggle with vulnerability and asking for help.

But I want you to know something: these aren’t permanent labels or life sentences. They’re just patterns you learned, which means they’re patterns you can change! (I’ve become way more secure over the years through therapy and intentional work.)

How Anxious Attachment Sabotages Your Business

Let me paint you a picture of what anxious attachment looks like in business, because I see it everywhere (and I’ve lived it myself):

The Perfectionism Trap

When you’re anxiously attached, putting anything imperfect out into the world feels absolutely terrifying. What if people judge you? What if they realize you don’t have it all figured out? What if they decide you’re not worth working with?

So you keep tweaking, keep “improving,” keep waiting until everything is absolutely perfect before you launch. Except nothing is ever perfect enough when you’re looking at it through the lens of “what if people don’t like me?”

I’ve watched brilliant people sit on incredible ideas for months because they’re convinced they need just one more course, one more certification, one more revision before they’re “ready.”

The Underpricing Epidemic

Anxiously attached folks are constantly worried about being “too much” or asking for “too much.” So pricing becomes this nightmare spiral of “but what if they think I’m too expensive?” and “I should probably charge less just to be safe.”

The result? You end up working way too hard for way too little money, which only reinforces the story that you’re not worth much to begin with.

The People-Pleasing Problem

When you’re anxiously attached, disappointing people feels like emotional death. So you say yes to projects that aren’t aligned, you over-deliver on everything, and you let scope creep happen because saying “no” feels impossible.

You end up building a business that serves everyone else’s needs except your own.

How Avoidant Attachment Limits Your Growth

Avoidant attachment in business is trickier to spot, but equally limiting:

The Under-Communication Issue

Avoidant folks often struggle with explaining what they do clearly enough. Not because they don’t know, but because getting that specific feels vulnerable.

So their websites have vague language, they do lots of discovery calls that don’t convert, and potential clients can’t quite figure out how to work with them.

The “I Don’t Need Anyone” Trap

Avoidantly attached people are incredibly self-reliant, which can be a strength. But it becomes a problem when they won’t ask for help, won’t collaborate, and won’t invest in support that could accelerate their growth.

They’d rather struggle alone than risk depending on someone who might let them down.

The Self-Sabotage Cycle

You want to know something that breaks my heart? Avoidant folks want success just as much as anyone else, but when things start going really well, it can feel scary and unfamiliar. So sometimes they unconsciously sabotage good opportunities because failure feels safer than success.

The Business Behaviors That Might Look Familiar

Let me get really specific about how these patterns show up day-to-day:

If you’re anxiously attached, you might:

• Undercharge because you’re afraid of being rejected
• Check email constantly and respond immediately (even on weekends)
• Take any feedback or criticism as proof you’re not good enough
• Avoid networking because you’re embarrassed to be a beginner
• Stay stuck in the same version of your business because change feels risky
• Over-deliver on every project to make sure clients are happy

If you’re avoidantly attached, you might:

• Struggle to explain clearly what you do or who you help
• Avoid follow-up emails and then wonder why clients go silent
• Have feast or famine cycles because you don’t consistently nurture relationships
• Prefer to work alone even when collaboration would help
• Sabotage opportunities when they start feeling “too good to be true”
• Under-communicate and then feel frustrated when people don’t understand you

Sound familiar? If you’re reading this and thinking “oh crap, that’s totally me,” first: you’re not broken! These are just patterns you learned for very good reasons. And second: awareness is literally the first step toward change.

The Hidden Connection Between Attachment and Pricing

Let’s talk about something specific: how attachment styles affect your relationship with money and pricing.

Anxious attachment and money:

• Constant fear that you’re asking for “too much”
• Tendency to discount services to avoid potential rejection
• Taking pricing objections as personal rejection
• Feeling guilty for wanting to be paid well
• Comparing your prices to others and always choosing to be lower

Avoidant attachment and money:

• Discomfort with “selling” because it feels too vulnerable
• Tendency to under-communicate value, leading to price resistance
• Reluctance to follow up on proposals or negotiate
• Preference for “take it or leave it” pricing instead of having pricing conversations

The secure approach to pricing:

• Pricing based on value and business needs, not emotional fears
• Comfortable having pricing conversations without taking objections personally
• Able to adjust pricing based on market feedback without spiraling
• Views pricing as a business decision, not a reflection of self-worth

How to Start Shifting These Patterns

The beautiful thing about understanding your attachment style is that once you can see these patterns, you can start to change them.

For Anxious Attachment:

Practice self-soothing before making business decisions.

When you’re activated (feeling anxious, rejected, or judged), that’s not the time to make pricing decisions or respond to difficult emails. Take a walk, call a friend, do some breathing exercises – whatever helps you feel calm and grounded first.

Challenge the perfectionism stories.

When you catch yourself thinking “I can’t launch this until it’s perfect,” ask yourself: “What would I tell a good friend who was thinking this?” Often we can give others permission to be human while being incredibly harsh with ourselves.

Set boundaries as practice in trusting yourself.

Every time you stick to a boundary (like not checking email after 6 PM), you’re proving to yourself that you can honor your own needs. That trust builds over time and affects everything else.

For Avoidant Attachment:

Practice small vulnerabilities.

Start sharing more about your process, your values, or your journey. The goal isn’t to overshare, but to let people see you as a real human, not just a service provider.

Follow up consistently, even when it feels awkward.

Create systems that make follow-up automatic so you don’t have to rely on remembering when you’re feeling avoidant.

Ask for help in low-stakes situations.

Practice depending on others in small ways to prove to yourself that it can be safe and beneficial.

The Connection to Your Website and Marketing

Here’s something fascinating: your attachment style probably shows up in your website and marketing materials too.

Anxious attachment websites might over-explain everything (because they’re trying to prevent any possible confusion), apologize for existing, or undersell their services.

Avoidant attachment websites might be beautifully designed but vague about what they actually do, have weak calls to action, or feel a little cold and distant.

Secure attachment websites clearly communicate value, feel warm but professional, and make it easy for the right people to take action.

if you need some help with this, download my free guide about understanding your ideal clients to help you create a website that converts!

Why This Matters More Than You Think

Understanding your attachment style isn’t just about personal growth (though that’s valuable too). It’s about removing invisible barriers to your business success.

When you make decisions from a secure place instead of an insecure one, everything becomes easier:

• Pricing becomes a business strategy instead of an emotional spiral
• Marketing feels authentic instead of terrifying
• Client relationships are healthier and more profitable
• You can handle feedback and rejection without taking it personally
• You trust yourself to make good decisions, which speeds up everything

The Ripple Effect of Attachment Healing

Here’s what’s beautiful about this work: when you heal your attachment patterns in business, it affects every other area of your life too.

When you practice setting boundaries with clients, you get better at setting boundaries in personal relationships. When you learn to trust your worth in your pricing, you start trusting your worth in general. When you get comfortable being imperfect in your business, you get more comfortable being human everywhere else.

It’s all connected, and the healing happens everywhere at once.

You’re Not Stuck With These Patterns Forever

I want to end with this because I think it’s so important:

Your attachment style is information, not identity.

It’s helpful information that can explain some of your patterns and give you a roadmap for growth, but it’s not a life sentence. You’re not doomed to forever undercharge because you’re anxiously attached, or forever struggle with marketing because you’re avoidant.

You have incredible capacity for growth and change. These patterns served you at some point – they helped you survive or cope with difficult situations. But if they’re not serving you anymore, you can change them!

It takes time, patience, and usually some support, but it’s absolutely possible. I’m living proof of that, and so are countless other entrepreneurs who’ve done this work.

Ready to Build a Business From Your Secure Self?

If this post has resonated with you and you’re starting to see how your attachment patterns might be affecting your business decisions, you’re already on the right path just by becoming aware of this stuff.

And if you’re ready to create a website that reflects your more secure, confident self – one that clearly communicates your value and attracts the right clients – I’d love to help you make that happen.

Because here’s what I believe: your website should reflect the business owner you’re becoming, not just the business owner you are right now. It should support your growth toward greater security and confidence, not reinforce old patterns that no longer serve you.

Ready to create a business strategy that supports your attachment healing journey? Click the button below to chat!

Remember: you’re not broken, you’re not behind, and you’re definitely not stuck with these patterns forever. You have everything you need to create the secure, successful business you’ve been dreaming of – and it starts with understanding the patterns that have been quietly running the show.