Hey, not to call you out or anything but, why are you avoiding your own website?

Maybe you’re not consciously thinking “I’m avoiding my website,” but when was the last time you actually looked at it? Like, really looked at it from a visitor’s perspective? When was the last time you updated something, shared the link without apologizing for it, or felt genuinely excited to send someone there?

If you’re like most business owners I talk to, the answer is probably “it’s been a while” or “I keep meaning to, but…” followed by a list of seven other things that suddenly became more urgent.

This isn’t laziness or procrastination, okay? I know you’re not lazy. This is your nervous system trying to protect you from something that feels threatening. And what it’s usually protecting you from is shame.

The Shame Spiral Starts Small

Here’s how it usually begins: You launch your website, and you’re pretty excited about it! Maybe it’s not perfect, but it’s yours and it’s out there in the world.

But then… you start noticing things. Maybe the copy feels a little off, or that one section doesn’t quite capture what you really do, or you see someone else’s website and think “Oh wow, theirs looks so much more professional than mine.”

So you think, “I should probably update that section” or “I really need to get better photos” or “Maybe I should completely redo the homepage.”

But instead of actually making those updates, you… don’t. Because every time you think about opening your website, you remember all the things that are “wrong” with it. And gradually, unconsciously, your website becomes this source of low-level stress instead of pride.

When Your Website Becomes “Proof” of Your Inadequacy

Here’s where it gets really nasty. People take their website as evidence of their worth and professional competency.

When your website feels “off” or outdated or just not quite right, your brain doesn’t think “Oh, I should learn some new skills” or “Maybe I should hire someone to help with this.” Your brain thinks:

• “I’m not professional enough”
• “I don’t know what I’m doing”
• “Everyone else has their act together except me”
• “I’m always behind”
• “I’m not ready for bigger opportunities”

Which? So not true!!! But, to you, your website becomes proof of whatever negative thing you already believe about yourself. And that proof is sitting there on the internet, available for anyone to see, 24/7.

No wonder you’re avoiding it!

The Avoidance Behaviors That Keep You Stuck

Once the shame spiral starts, it creates all sorts of avoidance behaviors that actually make the problem worse:

You stop sharing your website link.

When someone asks for your website, you send it with a disclaimer: “It’s not great, I really need to update it, but here it is…” or you make excuses about why it’s not representative of your current work.

You avoid opportunities that would require people to visit your site.

You don’t apply for speaking gigs, you don’t pitch to dream clients, you don’t do collaborations that would drive traffic your way.

You procrastinate on marketing activities.

Why create content that drives people to a website you’re embarrassed about? Why start an email list when your opt-in page makes you cringe?

You work on everything except your website.

Suddenly organizing your email inbox becomes incredibly urgent. That online course you bought six months ago definitely needs to be finished right now. Anything but actually opening your website and dealing with it.

The avoidance creates more avoidance.

The longer you avoid your website, the more overwhelming it becomes to address. And the more overwhelming it becomes, the more you avoid it! It’s a vicious cycle.

The Hidden Cost of Website Avoidance

What most people don’t realize is that website avoidance isn’t just about the website. It’s genuinely costing you real opportunities and real money.

When you’re embarrassed about your website, you:

• Turn down networking opportunities
• Avoid collaborations that could expand your reach
• Don’t pitch to clients who could be perfect fits
• Undercharge because “how can I charge premium rates with this website?”
• Miss out on speaking opportunities
• Don’t launch new services because you don’t want to drive traffic to your site

Your website shame becomes a ceiling on your business growth, and you might not even realize it’s happening.

Why This Affects Creative Entrepreneurs So Much

I see this pattern especially often with creative entrepreneurs, and I think there are a few reasons why:

We’re visual people.

When something doesn’t look right, it bothers us more than it might bother someone in a different industry. We have high standards for visual presentation, which can be a gift and a curse.

We tie our identity to our creative output.

When our website doesn’t feel like it represents us well, it feels like a fundamental misalignment between who we are and how we’re showing up in the world.

We’re often perfectionists.

The gap between our vision for what our website could be and what it currently is can feel paralyzing instead of motivating.

We compare ourselves to others constantly.

Social media makes it so easy to see other people’s gorgeous websites and feel like ours doesn’t measure up.

The Connection Between Website Shame and Business Shame

Guess what? Website shame is rarely just about the website. It’s usually connected to deeper feelings about your business, your worth, and your readiness for success.

When someone says “I hate my website,” what they’re often really saying is:

• “I don’t feel confident about my business yet”
• “I’m not sure I’m qualified to be doing this work”
• “I feel like everyone else has it more figured out than I do”
• “I’m afraid people will discover I don’t know what I’m doing”

Your website becomes the tangible representation of all those intangible fears.

The Mind-Website Connection

Here’s something fascinating: when someone’s website feels chaotic or unclear, their thinking about their business is usually chaotic or unclear too.

They might not be clear on exactly what they offer, who they serve, or how they’re different from their competitors. Or they might be clear on those things internally but not know how to communicate them to others.

Your website is essentially your thoughts about your business, translated into visual and written form. When your thoughts are scattered, your website reflects that. When your thoughts are clear and confident, your website reflects that too!

This is why just redesigning your website without addressing the underlying clarity issues usually doesn’t solve the shame problem. The new design might look prettier, but if the foundation is still shaky, you’ll still feel uncomfortable about it.

psst, if you need help with this, check out my free guide!

Digital Wellness and Website Shame

This connects directly to the concept of digital wellness – creating digital experiences that nourish you instead of depleting you.

When you’re constantly stressed about your website, when sharing your link makes you cringe, when you avoid looking at your own online presence, that’s the opposite of digital wellness. That’s digital dysfunction, and it affects everything else.

Your website should be a source of pride and confidence, not shame and avoidance. It should make you feel excited to share your work, not embarrassed about your online presence.

Breaking the Shame Spiral: Practical Steps

So how do you break out of this pattern? Here are some strategies that actually work:

1. Name the Shame

Awareness is always the first step. Acknowledge that you’re avoiding your website and that it’s probably connected to feelings of shame or inadequacy. You’re not lazy or unmotivated – you’re protecting yourself from emotional discomfort.

2. Separate Website Issues from Worth Issues

Your website is not a reflection of your worth as a person or even as a business owner. It’s just a tool that needs some attention. You can be incredibly skilled at what you do and still have a website that needs work.

3. Start with Tiny Actions

Don’t try to overhaul everything at once. That will just reinforce the overwhelm. Instead, commit to making one tiny improvement. Maybe update your bio, fix a typo, or add one new testimonial.

The goal isn’t to fix everything – it’s to prove to yourself that your website isn’t actually scary or unchangeable.

4. Focus on Function Before Beauty

Ask yourself: “What’s the most important thing my website needs to do right now?” Maybe it’s clearly explaining what you offer, or making it easy for people to contact you, or showcasing your best work.

Focus on making those functional improvements first, then worry about whether everything looks Pinterest-perfect.

5. Get External Perspective

Sometimes we’re too close to our own work to see it clearly. Ask a trusted friend or colleague to look at your website and tell you what they think it does well and where they get confused.

You might discover that your website is actually better than you thought, or that the issues are smaller and more fixable than they seemed in your head.

The Ripple Effect of Addressing Website Shame

Here’s what’s beautiful about tackling this issue: when you start feeling good about your website, everything else in your business becomes easier.

You share your link more confidently, which means more people visit your site. You apply for opportunities that require a professional online presence. You feel more legitimate and established in your industry.

Most importantly, you stop avoiding the very tool that’s supposed to be working for your business 24/7.

Why This Matters for Your Business Success

Your website isn’t just a nice-to-have digital brochure. In today’s world, your website is often the first (and sometimes only) impression potential clients have of you and your business.

When you’re avoiding your website or apologizing for it, you’re essentially avoiding or apologizing for your business. That’s not sustainable if you want to grow and succeed.

But when you feel genuinely proud of your website, when you’re excited to share it, when it accurately represents the quality of work you do – that’s when your website becomes a true business asset instead of a source of shame.

You Deserve a Website You Love

I want to end with this: you deserve to have a website that makes you feel proud and confident.

You deserve to have an online presence that accurately reflects your skills, your values, and your vision for your business.

If your current website isn’t doing that, it doesn’t mean you’re not good enough. It just means your website needs some attention – and that’s completely fixable!

And if you’re ready to work with someone who understands the emotional side of having a website – someone who can help you create something you’re genuinely excited to share – I’d love to help you break out of the shame spiral and into website confidence.

Because here’s what I believe: your website should be a source of strength, not shame. It should make you feel more confident about your business, not less. It should support your growth and success, not hold you back from opportunities.

If you’re ready to transform your website from a source of shame into a source of pride, click the button below and let’s talk about how we can make that happen.

You’re not broken for feeling this way, and you’re not alone in experiencing it.

Website shame is incredibly common, but it’s also incredibly solvable. The first step is just admitting it’s happening – and you’ve already done that by reading this far.

The next step? Taking one small action toward a website you can actually feel proud of.